Phone rings. I pick up the phone without call identity.
A voice I don’t recognize asks for me. “This is John” I reply.
“Hi, this is Mike C…” The phone goes silent for a second or two that seems to be a lot longer. “Damn,” I respond, “it is good to hear your voice Mike, C… [repeating his name as if to reassure myself I heard it right] …Where the hell have you been?”
A little background:
We last saw each other in the early 70’s. We were raw, immortal, and passionate about everything. Bright guys who were luckily stupid or stupidly lucky…or both. We had nothing but everything in front of us and we saw clearly those who had a cloud around themselves and those that had the wind at their backs. We did things we weren’t suppose to do and we didn’t do what we should have done. He taught me early on to “go fast” – also our special word for our favorite controlled substance – and the value of ‘wishing’… “John, you can wish in one hand and spit in the other and you know which one will fill up first!” To this day my kids don’t use the term “wish” very much.
Then, for no apparent reason we went separate ways after an ice climbing experience where our friend slipped and fell several hundred feet down a razor runway of ice. We all laughed about it when we got back down but we all knew we had escaped another bullet.
Back on the phone we go back and forth to catch up on what has been 30 years of experiences. I had not seen or talked to him or his lovely wife Jane for a long time although I thought of him during that time on many occasions. We also had common friends around the country. I met people in business that knew Mike and just smiled when his name was mentioned, making sure that I knew him as well as they thought they knew him prior to sharing with me their ‘adventures’ with him. Our ice climbing friend in San Francisco recently sent his email over with his email address and I pinged Mike in the hopes of connecting again. It worked.
Jobs, adventures of my own, wives, divorces, remarriages and more adventures – both positive and those less so. We went down the check list of catch-up:
- Children (mine, not theirs)
- Home – past and present
- Speed bumps encountered
- Jobs – past and present
- Common friends –
- Current passions –
In all too short a time the call was over with commitments to exchange data on current locations, etc. and to keep in touch – probably with email due to his travels… Jane would follow up in the next few days while he was on his latest adventure.
I hung up and it started.
“What he hell just happened…?”
In the past we were connected in so many ways and now we were reminiscing. It was not getting older that rubbed me wrong… I was jealous that he was who he was right now… leaving me with some explaining to do to me on why that was so.
So here is the question set:
1. What was the reason for the jealousy?
2. What data was I processing that made me want to say more and listen less?
3. Did I really know him today or was he a figment of the past intense experiences?
So give me your answers…
Whoa. heady.
1. What was the reason for the jealousy?
Hmmm…. not even sure where to start. Is there something he has that you value? lifestyle? friends? stuff? behaviors?
2. What data was I processing that made me want to say more and listen less?
Lonely? not in some depressing sense, but just lonely for someone to share 30 year old thoughts and that time in your life that current friends and family don’t have any shared connections to….
3. Did I really know him today or was he a figment of the past intense experiences?
Figment. or something inbetween. You’re bring in those intense experience, your ownself, to his voice, on the phone… but even when you knew him back then, did you really know him?